WAKE. PRAY. SLAY.

I have literally been going back and forth in thoughts on these past couple of weeks and its events. My people are dying, because of the colour of their skin. Let me repeat that, incase you didn't catch it the first time. My people are DYING, because of the COLOUR of their SKIN. As you probably already know, there have been reports of shootings going on in America of black males by those meant to serve and protect ALL civillians - The Police. 

Another Day Another Hashtag

#SAYTHEIRNAMES

It started with Alton Sterling, and in less than 24 hours, Philando Castile. Following these came Boston shootings and an attack against the police in Dallas. The black community was outraged. The black community was frustrated. We had had enough. For a long time Americans have been protesting, both peacefully and violently. Its sad to admit that they have been on their own all this while. Recently, a movement has been sparked in the UK. And I have never been more proud. 

BlackLivesMatterUK

We've always supported our brothers and sisters, but this is the first time we are actively moving from twitter, to expressing our concerns in the physical. Peaceful protests have been organised over the weekend involving marches all over London. Important places such as the BBC and the embassy have been visited. I am glad our voices are being heard as our people in America were touched by our support. This is the aim. We will love you with both prayer and action. 

WEAREWITHYOU

Now the main aim of this blog. We understand that the issues are deeply rooted in the establishment of white supremacy, over our forefathers, that has never gone away. Integration. This was the word used to trick us into believing equality had been achieved. The Martin Luther Kings and Malcom X's fought and fought for us; in the process losing their lives and for what - to achieve a lie...

Do not get me wrong, we have moved FAR forward. There is no slavery. At least not outrightly. Racism has become that silent but deadly virus. Everyone knows about it, but not everyone speaks about it. They (Racists) spread it discretely, when they teach young kids to hate black children, but not make it obvious. This develops into adulthood. This is the world we live in today. 

WAKE. PRAY. SLAY

I don't have all the answers. I don't necessarily have a solution. However, I do have a piece of advice for you. Beyonce knew what she meant when she said 'Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper'.

Racism, will probably never fully end. As sad as that sounds, it is the reality. However, we must keep standing up to it. And whilst we stand up to racism, there is work, amongst ourselves to be done. 

I believe each and every individual has something that God has deposited in them. A gift. A talent. A Passion. A Craft. Be it your education, your hobby, or what you give back to people. Now more than ever you need to WORK on these. WAKE. If you wake up everyday telling yourself you will work in purpose, I can guarantee a shift in the universe around you. PRAY. I believe in God. He gave me my talents, and therefore I pray to him to help me fulfil the ideas he has placed in me. SLAY. Do you know what it means to SLAY. As in SLAUGHTER those plans. You need to execute them to the fullest. This is me urging you to be the BEST you can be, in a world that hates you. 

"Twice as hard, to get half of what they got"

Okay. Challenge accepted. BUT, remember, it is not by your power or might. You see my brothers and sisters, FAVOUR of God takes you to place opportunity can not. Let that sink in. To conclude, I want you to stay WOKE aka be aware of whats going on around you. Now turn that negative into a positive. 

You can do it. 

In the words of Hayley Mulenda 'You are a winner'.

Thank you for reading,

Peace and Chunks 

xx

Depersonalisation: The silent Anxiety Disorder - My Story

Depersonalisation: "Moments of feeling disconnected or detached from one's body and thoughts." 

"I have this feeling when I feel like I'm here but I'm not here, do you ever get that?" 

I explained all this in the video 'Lets Talk: Dealing with Anxiety | What will the future hold?'

I held back a little bit, but this blog post will reveal a little bit more.

How does one explain something they are not quite sure of themselves? How does someone summarise something they are yet to understand?

Rejection. It can really take its toll on a human being. Or so I have learnt.

I've always been the strong one. The back bone. The one that listens to people's worries, but struggles to find a ear truly open to understanding my issues. 

"When the deliverer needs deliverance" 

*little bit of background* A few years back, during the ages of 13-15, I used to attend a church called 'Mountain of fire and miracle ministries' aka MFM. Notoriously known for their 'die by fire type prayers' but also a miracle centre where people usually obtain life changing results such as deliverance from evil forces and what not, through various prayer programs. 

I stumbled across this book, with this highly gripping title. I really didn't understand the meaning until of recent. I sat back and analysed the situation I found myself in. Imagine you had to get from A to B. In between A and B lies a door. This is the only route, might I emphasise. So imagine all these plans were made. The subject in this scenario is following these plans. They are optimistic. They are trusting that the universe is on their side. 

On getting to the door. They open it, hoping to enter. On putting their first foot in, there is some sort of blockage. They get pushed back and fall. They try again after regaining their energy. Once again, they get pushed back, and fall. 

What is this blockage? 

They try and shine some light on it. 

They see a big fat No. Standing in the way. B can no longer even be seen. 

So what now? 

Go back after all of the preparations and follow through? 

The subject is lost. The subject does not know how to feel. In fact, the subject loses all feeling. They become numb from the world. They become depersonalised. 

This is what I was going through. I developed a weird case of anxiety. The silent kind. The one you keep to yourself - and it keeps growing, and growing. 

"When the deliverer needs deliverance." As an aspiring Media personality, I take to YouTube to discuss real issues regarding life. I was offering advice to many but was unable to find an advisor for myself. I'm not saying I was this religious leader who was able to rid people of their demons and what not. But I had moments where I just cried and cried. I wondered who would deliver me?

Then I recovered. In the most unexpected way, and at the most unexpected time.

The incident. 

A trip to an hospital really put things into perspective for me. 

The hospital has people who are in simple terms, close to death but remain hopeful about life - they hold on to the fact that they are alive.

I thought to myself. But I have more than just life....

I have family, I have friends, I have achieved so much, and even though life may be shaky right now, I have experienced good times. 

So why don't I hold on to that? 

I realised, I had been spending so much time worrying about the future, and rather than it keeping me focused. It made me lose my way. It made me stop enjoying and appreciating the present. 

And now I have this feeling. 

I have this feeling that it will all work out. 

Perhaps not by my plans, perhaps not the way I had envisioned it. 

But it will work out. 

Personally, I choose to be happy. 

Thank you for reading. 

Peace & Chunks 

Xx

"All I wanted to do was love him"

Ladies I know this feeling. The heartbreaking realisation that someone is not ready for the love you were so willing to give. But the reality is you cannot force a man to love you. I saw a quote somewhere, just to paraphrase it said 'If you put the amount of energy you put into these boys into God instead, God will bring you someone who you never have to work hard to impress or even question his love for you". Do not get me wrong. Im not advising you to draw close to God for the sole purpose of finding a good man. I'm advising you to seek God's love first before you seek love in any man or people in general. You need to discover the queen in you before even trying to bring out the king in anyone else all in the name of a relationship. One day you will meet someone who not necessarily completes you but compliments your being. Someone who you will build with. Someone who you will grow with. Someone you will never have to beg to love you. And when that person comes you will know. Because you would have realised what love is by loving God first and inevitably yourself. God is love and God wants to reside within us; by loving God, you love yourself. You love yourself enough to give that love to someone truly worthy of it. Ladies. Wipe your eyes. Be patient. Be wise enough to break the cycle of unworthy love. Be strong.

@mo_chunkaay

A day filled with Pride, Joy and Laughter: Family graduation recap!

The 15th of July 2015 was a beautiful day for a graduation. The sun was out to compete with the bright smiles of friends, family and of course the recipients themselves of their various honours. I came to celebrate with a few students in particular namely Nyasha Masango and Morenike. Although myself, and most people were viewing the action in the main auditorium through a plasma TV, the joy in our hearts remained in high projection. One by one, each student was called to receive their certificate. To some this was just a piece of paper, whilst others marched to receive their badge of honour, a representation of the hard work (or lack of) that has occurred over their university years. Anyway enough of the grammar. I captured some beautiful moments, as well as some eye catching fashion displayed through the day.Enjoy !

My OOTD. I will give details in a separate blog post! 

 The Graduate herself @ndotwhy !

Glam Squad !

As much as i would love to label the rest of the 158 pictures of family and friends in this blog post, time will not permit, please enjoy the rest of the gallery <3

 This one CAN be labelled! FIRST CLASS baby !!

SO PROUD !

Another FIRST CLASS student, Morenike !

Many more celebrations to come IJN. AMEN!

Thank you for reading !

Peace & Chunks xxx