Father's Day as we all know is a day set aside to celebrate the fathers in our lives. Key part of that phrase being 'in our lives'.
Father's Day does not get as much buzz as Mother's Day both on a social level and even in the media. Less people splash out in their dads as they normally would for their mums. Less people want to appreciate their dads in person and on social media.
Let me be honest I was more than eager to write my mother a long paragraph on Mother's Day than I was for my dad on Father's Day. That's not because I don't love him but it would be pretentious of me. I just wasn't sure what exactly I wanted to say. "Happy Father's Day" and that was all.
And I think a lot of people also felt this way. The 'Happy Father's Day, Mum' tweets were still being posted because for many their mums have become both parent parties in their life.
'Wait till Mother's Day' is the typical response to those posts. This is usually from people who have their fathers active in their life. I'd rather not comment on those things because you don't know each and everyone's struggle. So if someone wants to appreciate their mum for being their father, I say let them.
So where was I going with this.
Fathers, future fathers, men.
You have a huge responsibility. You see that quote 'Work twice as hard, to get to half as here they are', it also applies to you. No not in terms of race, rather in terms of your role in your children's/ future children's lives.
Talking from experience, children are more forgiving of their mothers than fathers. No one is perfect, but one wrong move and a lot of people will dismiss their fathers forever.
Why ?
That woman carried us for 9 months, then went through the struggle of birthing us. She nurtured us, breastfed us, intimacy like no other.
Now I'm not saying our fathers didn't help out when we were born. . In fact there are many dads who had to nurture their Children alone. They are the real MVPs. There just can never be that level of intimacy between and father and child, when the mother is still around.
As harsh as it sounds, we love mummy more.
So when she wrongs us, we still have those factors to fall back on. The reasons to love her against all odds if you will.
We have to learn from the older generation, rather than make the same mistakes they did.
A lot of men assume their positions once married. The leader, the head type thing.
You bring home the bacon, but sometimes forget to feed it, to your child. Literally and hypothetically speaking, that is.
Money is not love. Love is love.
It seems so simple, but it's easy to forget.
Fathers to daughters
You are her first 'love'. The first man in her life. Your actions will have somewhat of and impact on her future relationships and life in general. This impact varies because every individual is different. A lack of fatherly love can lead some to having 'daddy issues', a void which they try to fill with anything that looks like love, for example sex from any man who pays them attention. Others shut down completely and despise even the mention of a man. Some simply take the middle ground. It really depends.
The point is, you do not want your actions or inability to fulfil your role of displaying a positive version of love (true love) in her life to be the reason why she loses herself.
She is a princess, treat her like one; so she never forgets. Let her know she is special in case someone tries to tell her otherwise.
Fathers and sons
You are his first image of what a man should be. He WILL copy you.
He will remember the way you treated his mother. He will harbour in his mind that moment you decided whether or not to stay in his life. He will learn from you the secrets to success and even failure. The decisions you make and the moves you take will determine whether or not your son will Also invest in his own future.
Ambition is innate. It is at the centre of our hearts BUT will your actions fuel the fire of ambition in his life or simply put it out.
Ambition is not just for men mind you, this also applies to women. But for all intensive purposes, let me not digress.
Will you teach him how to be faithful to one woman or spud Him for sleeping around and ruining other women's outlook on love?
The way you run your family. You are giving your sons ideas. Good or bad, traditions and family practices never really seem to die. So which will you bring to life?
Once again you do not want your actions to be the reason why your son does not know how to love.
I guess it all boils down to love. And this is not just in Romaric relationships. God is love and if we and in his likeness and image we should also desire love. Being emotionally detached as a father can taint the image of love for the child which tends to continue for more generations.
However, our foundations can only be an excuse for out wrong doings for so long. It's time to come back down to earth. Break the cycle type of thing. A lack of a role model in your father does not mean positivity cannot be found else where, neither does it mean you cannot live a positive life and BECOME that role model you really longed for.
You want you daddy but he didn't want you. Then make sure you make your child feel like the most wanted person in the world from the moment they are born.
You wanted daddy's attention but he just didn't have the time. You make sure you never work to the point you don't have special time created for your future children.
You wanted to make daddy proud but he wasn't there to see your achievements. You make sure you're ready to show up to every pop quiz, parents evening, sports day etc and make sure you are the LOUDEST cheerleader.
Fathers you are our heroes. Never become the villain. Start making positive changes to really become 'that guy'.
Once again it boils down to one of my favourite sayings. 'LEARN to find STRENGTH from your PAIN'. This isn't an innate skill, it is acquired by force. It is not human nature but can be implemented as a form of self nurture.
Show love, so love can proceed our future generations. Fathers, future fathers, men. The choice is yours.
Thanks so much for reading this post, peace & chunks x
